Back In It (whatever "it" is...)

it took a third world country, two plane rides, several road trips, a great wedding, an earthquake, a category three hurricane, swamp fires, an accident far away, and a freezing summer night on a parking garage roof to make me realize several things about myself and God that i previously thought i knew but wasn't quite positive of before:

1) i am an extrovert. duh. but for those of you who didn't know me when i was introverted, you must understand i have been battling this intro-extro thing for a while. in the span of like, i dunno, two or three years, the way i deal with crises and struggles has changed from a "withdraw by myself into a shell" method to a "keep myself constantly distracted by people" method. really different. sorry about that guys, i mean, it's rough on me i can't imagine how weird it must be for those who have been close to me for a while to try and figure out this change.

2) i have two weeks until judgement day. wooooaaaah..... ok so for me that just means that if you're reading this, i am the resistance. (i'm such a dork....) i have till september 15 to pay up tuition or die. that gives me two weeks and 900 dollars to pay. am i in trouble?

3) no, because even though i can change from an introvert to an extrovert in a span of three years, God remains the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. immortal, invisible, God only wise.... almighty victorious thy great name we praise. those welsh dudes got it right, this guy doesn't change. the God who got me through last year will get me through this year.

4) i think a part of his plan has to do with my artwork... but i'm not sure what. any ideas (or anyone wanna buy some artwork?)

5) there is really no reason ever to make numbered bullets on my blogs. i do it because if i don't number stuff, i just write down what comes to my head with seemingly no order at all and it would look like this:

this morning i woke up and felt sick and i've felt anxious and sick all day and it turns out T really hurt himself today while he was playing basketball with rebel youth (the IEC international youth group he leads, well, he would say God leads it through him and the guys...) and he's in a lot of pain and my mom/girlfriend instincts have been triggered but hey guess what? he lives over seven thousand miles and two thousand dollars away so there's nothing i can do but pray which is what i have been doing all night and that leads me to

6) can you guys pray for me?

7) just to prove a point, be happy i write with numbered bullet points so that you don't have to read that crazy paragraph thing more than once.

8) satisfied that i have confused most of anyone who is gonna read this, i will end

9) on

10) (ADD)

11) this: in preparation for next summer, i am going to be collecting art supplies and money over then next year. this includes: kids paint, stickers, markers, construction paper, paper plates and paper towels, scissors, glue sticks and tacky glue, kids beads, and stretchy string for necklaces. there will be more things, but these are some of the things i am keeping my eyes open for and praying that God provides. i dreamed big for the summer and got ethiopia. now i'm dreaming big for ethiopia and can't wait for God to floor me.

12) other than prayers and supplies, i am also collecting IDEAS. if anyone reading this has an idea for any of this, let me know! or if you know someone who is good at ideas, pass this along to them and say, "hey, have any cool ideas?" that would be cool.

13) college isn't distracting enough. who knew.

14) GOD is more than enough.

15) is a good number to end on.

i'm gonna keep doing this.

hey guys.

safe and sound, i made it home. the plane actually landed an hour early, thereby proving that i was no longer in africa.... where everything and everyone is late. if that wasn't convincing enough, the gigantically huge, shiny white, clean as a whistle, overly organized baggage claim at dulles airport certainly screamed AMERICA! welcome home, tori. welcome home.

i've decided i'm gonna keep blogging. now, yall don't have to keep reading, i mean, what's the point? i'm no longer in ethiopia, the trip is over. i'm back to my wonderfully american life in nova where i can run in my neighborhood at five in the afternoon and see (maybe) one person in forty-five minutes who doesn't bother to look up when i go past. i'm back to my beautifully american life where there are traffic lights and traffic signs and if you don't follow those carefully placed signs you go to jail. i'm back to my blessedly american life where there isn't just one full toilet paper roll in the airport bathroom.... there are four.

yeah. so i miss africa.

i'm going back as soon as i can. now for obvious reasons, that will most likely be next year. but i am going back cause i left something behind, and i'm not sure i can live without it for long.

(no, not my camera. i did leave that behind, but i can live without it.)

i'm talking about that thing that made me cry when i said goodbye to my kids.

that thing that caused me to panic when we hit the kid.

the thing that made my chest stick out in pride when the orphanage kids helped me paint.

that thing that fell in love with the people, the culture, the city, the countryside, the rainy days, the sunny moments, the taxi rides, the mountains, and those really cute donkeys that are everywhere....

my heart.

don't worry, i'm going back for it. like i said, i can only live without it for so long.

and i left it in very capable hands... t's.

(oh, he's ma boyfriend.)

and i figure, blogging about what's going on in between ethiopia trips is still an ethiopian update if my heart is still in the country.

so if you're interested, stay with me folks! cause the wild ride isn't over. God is doing crazy awesome things (such as paying for my tuition... um, well, he's still working on that one;) and finding me the man of my dreams (yeah, t, in case you were wondering, that's you. i know you're gonna read this) and providing a way for me to go back next year (right, God? ....He reads my blog too) and providing a way for t to come visit me over christmas... (still reading, God? ;)

hey, any of you who have been praying for me, i have two messages. the first is thank you, thank you, thank you. your prayers have meant the world. the second is DON'T STOP! haha, cause your prayers still mean the world!

christ's love.... it's kinda overflowing in me. so give me a call and we'll have coffee and talk about it. cause that's the thing about Jesus. when he loves on us, we just have to go love on someone else. if any of you have any prayer requests, leave them on my facebook wall! i would be overjoyed to lift you up before the King.

ok bye.

the prayers of the righteous....

let the redeemed of the lord say so!!!!

and this redeemed one said God would provide for my tuition. and now i need your prayers everyone.

it looks like there might be a way for me to auction off some of the drawings i have done and plan to do from my time here, from the close to a thousand pictures i've taken.

(i lost my camera, pray i find that too. i know it's just a camera, but i named it "AlKasha" and he's my baby...)

(ok... he's not my only baby... ;)

please pray that the word gets out about the auction.

please pray that i am able to get the drawings done quickly.

please pray that there is a huge interest in my work among adopting families through awaa, plus anyone else who is interested!

please pray that God's name is glorified through the work of my hands. i plan on doing a little story that goes with every drawing about where i was when i took the picture and what it means... and God's name is intermixed throughout my entire story here!

pray!

A Spirit of Trauma

yesterday we hit a kid.

i was in a big green van driving to debre brahan, a city about 2 and a half hours outside of addis. i was going to the kids care orphanage there to paint murals for two days. i was a little bit upset too... cause i wanted to stay in addis so i could spend time with the kids at the TH for my last week, as well as some of the other people here who i have grown to love. my boss, mulé, was with me.

i was half asleep, crying to carrie underwood's "just a dream" when the driver slammed into something and quickly slammed on his breaks, screeching to a halt. i was startled, then i heard someone screaming. i thought, oh no... i think we hit something. i have seen a lot of donkeys and cows and dogs hit on the side of the road since i've been here. but when i looked out the back i saw something that i never expected and hope never to see again.

a shoe.

then mulé said, "jesus christ...." and i realized, we didn't hit something. we hit someone.

they pulled the kid out from under the car and put him in one of the small motorcycle taxis called a bajaj. then they rushed him off to the hospital just down the road. i thought i was going to throw up.... i was shaking and crying so hard i could barely breathe, and i couldn't even get out of the van for like thirty minutes. i couldn't eat lunch, and i didn't stop crying for like 2 hours.

we went to the hospital to see the kid, he was only like six. he was so small. he was also alive.

thank jesus.... the van didn't hit him head on, it hit him on the corner where the light was. the light of the van was crushed, i saw it when i got out of the van.

when i saw him, he was wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by people. he was in his father's arms and his dad was crying. his head and lip were swollen and his foot was wrapped in a bandage. i dropped to my knees next to his dad and just took his little hand in mine and prayed for him.... just crying and crying. i stayed like that until he went in for his x-ray about two minutes later.

i was in a funk the whole taxi ride back to addis after that. met up with my best friend and cried some more. i talked it out, prayed it out, vented, walked numb through the rain... then finally was able to eat and drink. i started to smile again. i had a lot of people praying for the little one, and for me.

at around 9pm, the director of kids care came to find me. she told me that she found out that the kid is ok. he has no internal bleeding, he is conscious and doesn't look like there will be any brain damage. his spine is a bit off, and he is in a lot of pain. it will take some time to heal. but he is going to live, he's gonna be ok.

praise jesus... i let out a breath that i didn't realize i was holding when i found that out. i prayed with my dear dear mamacita about my own heart in experiencing this trauma... and found that i was able to sleep without thinking about his broken little body being pulled out from under the car. i was able to see jesus pulling him out instead, covering him with his healing hands. i read this morning in 1st corinthians that we have the mind of christ. i know that when i knelt in front of the little guy and his dad and just cried with him... that is what jesus would have done as well, and in a strange way, that has given me a peace that passes understanding about what happened yesterday.

i'm ok. the little one is ok. and god is still sovereign.

and that.... is a blessing.

continue to pray for the little one and his family please. they are not out of the woods yet.

only in africa....

africa. the only place where a chicken can cross the road, and nobody gives a crap.

sorry it's been so long since i've blogged. i've been a little busy, lots going on here.

the first big update is that it has become abundantly clear to me that i am supposed to be an art teacher. i have a burning passionate fire in my heart (or is it my stomach? that's on fire too...) when i think about coming back here and teaching full time. the coolest thing is... these guys want me back. when i asked about next year, the answer wasn't a matter of if... it was a matter of when. wow. and i was all concerned about whether or not i'd even make a difference.

the second big update is that today is my first real day of not feeling sick at all. which is great, cause i am about to leave the city for the second time, i am driving like 6 hours to awasa, another city i'm told is beautiful. the first time i left addis was last saturday, i went to adema with katie and jeff, my favorite adopting family so far and proud parents of six, two of which they had to leave behind at the transitional home until their embassy date in about a month or so. they went to adema to meet their son bedilu's nanny, the lady who found him and nursed him back to health. the meeting was beautiful, i was so privileged to be there to experience it with them. lots of tears, but tears of joy and thankfulness.

the third big update is that i will be leaving this country, but leaving behind around 25 fully finished murals in four different orphanages. i have been busy. next year i will hopefully do much more in other orphanages i didn't get the chance to visit here. i can't wait to show you all pictures.... and i might even be offering my services as a kids wall mural painter for ANYONE who wants it in the states. (girl's gotta make a living somehow... and i discovered that this is something that not only can i do... but gosh darn it i can do it well!)

update number four is that i'm not sure if i will be able to pay my college tuition.

and update number five is that i'm not worried about it because of update number one. if jesus wants me to be a teacher, i will be a teacher. so why worry about something as insignificant as money? besides,

update number six is that teacher or no teacher, ethiopia or states, college or work... first and foremost... (and this is pretty much the most important thing i have learned while i've been here which is funny... cause i had to go half way across the world to learn something i could have learned in my own neighborhood) i am called to be a follower of jesus christ. and it is the most amazing call on my life and i intend to live according to this call. free of fear, free of worry, free of pain, free of the bondage of anything the evil one might throw at me. christ in me, the hope of glory. nothing else in this world is that AWESOME.

sorry, i simply had to get that out. oh, and update number seven... i'm coming home in a little over a week. but my heart... stays here.

i love you all. can't wait to see ya and share pictures and experiences.