what it's like to be scared

i don't have my visa, i've been told i can get it in the country. i feel unprepared. i haven't heard from the woman i am staying with who is picking me up for two weeks, i don't even know if she has received my emails. i am so nervous, it's making my stomach hurt. i am so scared. i am leaving in less than two days. i might cry i am so scared, scared with no one to blame it on. it's funny how when you are about to enter into an unknown so new that you don't even know what to expect, you feel like you need to blame it on someone. as if it were someone's fault. haha.

God says trust me. if i trust him, i will be safe, secure, surrounded by love, i won't fail. but i am still so afraid. right now, i need prayer more than anything.