growing up can be a tricky business.
my little buddy, joey, just got a hair cut. it's kinda buzzed off, as in, he had hair, now he doesn't. poor joey, he doesn't like his hair cut. "why joey?" "i just don't like it." but getting haircuts is a part of growing up. it can be rough and annoying, and sometimes you just don't like it. but it's necessary.
my sisters and i were laying on my mom's bed the other night. my youngest sister bella was having a hard time, she has limes disease so sometimes she gets really tired and emotional. she was struggling with thinking too many confusing thoughts that night. i laid down next to her and my sister kayla laid on the other side and we looked up at the patterns on the ceiling. i started just, talking to bella... i said, "you know bell, when i was your age i struggled with thoughts. it feels like a thought pinball machine in your head right? and there are too many balls, bouncing around at light speed going ping! ping! ping! all on the sides, and each thought lights up a new fear or idea or memory." bella nodded her head. "well, the thoughts get louder and louder. and then you start to hear the lies of the enemy. he shouts those lies, really really loudly. whatever you believe about your identity that isn't truth comes out like a tidal wave." bella nodded her head again. "well, you know how they say that truth is like a whisper. God's voice is still and small, quiet and gentle. but it is so so hard to hear that voice above all the clamor and screaming of the enemy's lies. and sometimes, you just wish that God's voice could shout louder than the enemy's lies, so that it would be easier to hear.
however, there is something we always forget. when you are scared, or losing control, what do you do? how do you respond? ok, look at it this way... if you were losing control of your car, how would you respond?" bella looked at me for a sec with a confused look, then i grabbed her and yelled. "AAAAHHHHH!!! you'd scream!!" she giggled, "oh yeah" "see, that's why i think the enemy's voice is so loud. he knows he isn't just losing the battle for our hearts, he already lost it. and now he's screaming, yelling, pelting us with every lie he's got because he is quickly spinning out of control.
God, on the other hand, has won the battle. he doesn't need to shout or scream, he has the confidence of a quiet and gentle whisper. he doesn't need to feel powerful because he is powerful. he doesn't need to show satan who's boss because he is boss. he doesn't need to prove that he is winning because he already won."
and then the three of us laid there for a while in silence. then we stared at the ceiling and tried to turn it into an optical illusion, and then we went to watch the last airbender ;)
here's the thing though, i was trying to help my sister but honestly, growing up is a tricky business. it sneaks up on you at the most inopportune times. like last night, when i relearned a lesson i thought i had finished with years ago. and the pain that comes with learning a lesson like that is like growing pains.... because there's no way i can forget the consequences of a selfish act. it's battles like these that make my head feel like a pinball machine. and hey.... relationships are hard. but beautiful. and i think last night i figured out that the beauty outweighs the difficulty. love is something that you chose, it's a way of life, a hard way of life, but the only way of life that is worth living. that's what Jesus tried to teach us stubborn mules when he came to visit 2000 years ago.
so yeah, growing up is a tricky business.
stupid peter pan..........
my little buddy, joey, just got a hair cut. it's kinda buzzed off, as in, he had hair, now he doesn't. poor joey, he doesn't like his hair cut. "why joey?" "i just don't like it." but getting haircuts is a part of growing up. it can be rough and annoying, and sometimes you just don't like it. but it's necessary.
my sisters and i were laying on my mom's bed the other night. my youngest sister bella was having a hard time, she has limes disease so sometimes she gets really tired and emotional. she was struggling with thinking too many confusing thoughts that night. i laid down next to her and my sister kayla laid on the other side and we looked up at the patterns on the ceiling. i started just, talking to bella... i said, "you know bell, when i was your age i struggled with thoughts. it feels like a thought pinball machine in your head right? and there are too many balls, bouncing around at light speed going ping! ping! ping! all on the sides, and each thought lights up a new fear or idea or memory." bella nodded her head. "well, the thoughts get louder and louder. and then you start to hear the lies of the enemy. he shouts those lies, really really loudly. whatever you believe about your identity that isn't truth comes out like a tidal wave." bella nodded her head again. "well, you know how they say that truth is like a whisper. God's voice is still and small, quiet and gentle. but it is so so hard to hear that voice above all the clamor and screaming of the enemy's lies. and sometimes, you just wish that God's voice could shout louder than the enemy's lies, so that it would be easier to hear.
however, there is something we always forget. when you are scared, or losing control, what do you do? how do you respond? ok, look at it this way... if you were losing control of your car, how would you respond?" bella looked at me for a sec with a confused look, then i grabbed her and yelled. "AAAAHHHHH!!! you'd scream!!" she giggled, "oh yeah" "see, that's why i think the enemy's voice is so loud. he knows he isn't just losing the battle for our hearts, he already lost it. and now he's screaming, yelling, pelting us with every lie he's got because he is quickly spinning out of control.
God, on the other hand, has won the battle. he doesn't need to shout or scream, he has the confidence of a quiet and gentle whisper. he doesn't need to feel powerful because he is powerful. he doesn't need to show satan who's boss because he is boss. he doesn't need to prove that he is winning because he already won."
and then the three of us laid there for a while in silence. then we stared at the ceiling and tried to turn it into an optical illusion, and then we went to watch the last airbender ;)
here's the thing though, i was trying to help my sister but honestly, growing up is a tricky business. it sneaks up on you at the most inopportune times. like last night, when i relearned a lesson i thought i had finished with years ago. and the pain that comes with learning a lesson like that is like growing pains.... because there's no way i can forget the consequences of a selfish act. it's battles like these that make my head feel like a pinball machine. and hey.... relationships are hard. but beautiful. and i think last night i figured out that the beauty outweighs the difficulty. love is something that you chose, it's a way of life, a hard way of life, but the only way of life that is worth living. that's what Jesus tried to teach us stubborn mules when he came to visit 2000 years ago.
so yeah, growing up is a tricky business.
stupid peter pan..........
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